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As I last reported my crate of Hairstyles For Spaceships divining haircare products has arrived. I had to scrounge around for some hand tools to pry the top off. This note was the first thing I found inside;

"Discover our new range of product especially tailored to sharpen your look and create density to the marrow of your Brain Bone with our groundbreaking synthesis of Magnetic Bloat. Magnetic Bloat is a new product that protects and strengthens the hair as well as upgrades the amount of data coming out of an individual strand of hair to double every nine months. Magnetic Bloat has become a target for industry and a self-fulfilling prophecy in it's own right.

Although Magnetic Bloat was initially processed in the formless organisms of observation and disbelief, it quickly became accepted as the leading formula for success in overriding time controls of every market, and served as a goal for an entire industry. This drove both marketing and engineering departments of competing domestic and off world hair product manufacturers to focus enormous energy aiming for the specified increase in processing power that it was presumed Hairstyles For Spaceships already possessed. In this regard, it can be viewed as a self-fulfilling prophecy but sometimes you just know when something feels good. Finish products improve invisibly while experiencing time differentials, subtly enhancing shape and movement while never compromising your good looks. Never superfluous, Hairstyles For Spaceship new Magnetic Bloat product line puts you at the controls of destiny to easily recreate the sophisticated version of reality you are required to inhabit."


(The starmap trends of scaling for Magnetic Bloat allows doubling of reality interferences to be experienced in an individual Hairstyle over the same period of time as the competitions products.)

I cannot tell you how excited I am to discover what awaits me deeper in the crate.

-Terbs