Sad Tonys Underwearium

Sad Tony enjoying a sleepwalk on a rare day off of work at The Underwearium.

Inside an old avocado green filing cabinet with flaking paint and lots of rust, documents concerning the histories of past tenants of the Newton mini mall were discovered recently and sent into the future for processing. The documents were badly damaged by water and other distresses of technological impurities. However The Board has determined that the overriding suspicions of the future potentials of these documents are to important to be dismissed and are from now on to be included in the collective realizationistic unconsciousness of Hairstyles For Spaceships:

Sad Tonys Underwearium
existing 1980-19845
Purpose: Harvester and Distributor of contemporary low price underwears.

Store Frontals: grand opening effectively delayed due to lack of interest and inactionable cosmologies. Upon opening, Sad Tonys enjoyed brisk business daily. The people of Newton wore his Underwears exclusively before all other brands and swore that the magic fibers of his goods improved the transparent qualities of their personal fertility zones. Sad Tony eventually went crazy because of perpetual proximity to low prices and his spaceship left without him.

Resulting Actions: Promote Sad Tony from beyond the grave to position of Lacey Executioner of Eternal Consequences.